It has been a while, I tried many times, but just could not return to the same level of meditation that I used to attain a year back. I thought the recent failures in my life has slowed down my awakening and I am never gonna reach that place again with this negativity in me.

Frustrated from this tough phase of my life, I decided to get very positive, believe in myself, no matter what. I started my journey again with visualization and affirmations, most importantly SELF BELIEVE. I slept visualizing, and woke up with gratitude. After the breakfast, I could not resist myself from meditation. As I started studying for my exam, I felt a compulsion to meditate and I closed my eyes, but this time with no purpose, only to surrender. I closed my eyes and initially forced myself not to focus on seeing, hearing, or smelling anything. I am well aware that I possess a very powerful mind, which is designed to get me to my objective at any cost, and that it will try to find an easier path to make me feel I am done. I know my mind can play tricks with me, give me some pictures to distract or a feeling of deep meditation just to make me feel content. Thus, I sat there with no agenda, no intention to learn or experience, but rather just to surrender myself.

 Slowly, I felt I am back! I felt I am on a similar place, somewhere I used to be when I used to meditate deep. I then realized how this character known as Manish has grown up before me. I realized there is no one who has seen “Manish” more closely than me. I could disassociate myself from “Manish” and remember how I have witnessed him growing. Once I was not him, I started looking at what was left, “I”, and the more I realized this, the more I could see “I” getting dissolved. Gradually I could feel “I” getting completely dissolved or should I say nowhere to be found. I could feel that actually I was nowhere, may be not exist, but certainly not there anywhere to be found. It was all so peaceful; it’s here, where everything is, including me, it’s nowhere.