My Unanswered Questions

I am not sure if I ever would be able to see GOD but I really want to know what HE/SHE/IT looks like. There are lots of questions that I would like to ask, but I am not sure of any such opportunity. I couldn’t find a better listener of my questions, but my diary, to say it all.

My dear Diary,

Today I want to share my feelings with you, hope you like it. I chose you over anybody else because you never complain, u never criticize, u never get happy, u never reply but all you do is LISTEN patiently no matter what I have to say. So my dear diary, here we go……

Let me start with a question - What is the purpose of me being here, occupying this space on earth??The more I think on this the more I get restless and helpless. I feel I am a vagabond as I don’t know what my aim is. As all others even I have come to earth and God blessed me with a few relations and then there are a few relations that I have made by myself.

The big question that makes me go mad is that why am I here? Is living a life of 80 years is all that I am supposed to do? Why is the SYSTEM so that I have to live a life and then buzz off somewhere unknown? Why is Death not Transparent? Why am I living?

Sometimes I tell you it’s scary but I think I am big enough to realize that I am not a coded program but a human being who has a thinking of his own. But what if I want to think beyond my thinking and imagination?
What if I don’t do anything, will God give me energy to live on or the old saying will find its destiny through me and that is “God help only those who help themselves”. What if I try to do great things will God give me another life as a reward and it will go on forever as an infinite loop? God has blessed me with a life now making it or spoiling it is on me but which is the right option and who decides it, if not me?

Why are we so small with respect to universe? Why are we so slow with respect to speed of light? Why can’t we see the supreme power? Why do we look like the way we do? Do we belong to earth if not then why did we come here and from where did we come here? Why can’t I see my past and future while I am in my present? Why can’t I stay in the moment for more than the specified time limit? Why are we forced to travel with time and not wish?

I find that making needy people happy give me immense satisfaction but the other moment my mind asks me if that is all I want to do? People tend to do things which can make them or their loved ones happy but the irony is that it’s the common sorrow that binds people together more tightly than common happiness, so what do we do? Should we look for sorrows for better bonding or happiness to be better at bonding? Is that all because we feel, so why do we feel things? If we can feel so much, is there something that is left unfelt, if not then why can’t we all feel God?

There is one question that has been haunting me right from my childhood and that is WHAT AM I?
Am I just my hands or my legs or my eyes or just …just the brain?? If I am the brain then who controls my brain? I really go deep within myself looking for the answer and it feels I am sailing within me but fail to find an end. Is that because I am the soul and it’s endless? I am happy that I can see, feel, hear, touch and taste things but is that all I can do or the list is endless?

Is becoming a successful man is all that I have to do? Why do I want to be successful, so that people give my family, friends and me respect, but what will I do of this respect once I am gone? What if I am reborn as a mosquito, will people even waste a moment before killing me? Will they stop because of the hard work and respect that I earned in my last inning?

Is following my passion all that I want to do, or the bigger question is WHY DO I WANT? Believe me I really want to go on talking to you as I have lot in store and it may take a few eras to pass by.
Thanks a lot for your attention my dear Diary will get back to u soon.

Yours truly,
Manish….